Pain. Trauma. Unresolved issues. Emotional attachments. Negative or hurtful life experiences. Negative relationship cycles.
The “why” behind us is different for all of us. Sometimes, we’re carrying two or three of the things I listed above—other things, maybe one. The point is that none of us are exempt from experiencing difficulties that often leave emotional scars.
Scars are an indicator of the places we’ve been. A fresh scar indicates a fresh wound, which suggests where we’ve recently been hurt OR a place struggling to heal. Other scars have been engrafted into the skin; they blend somehow but remain distinct in color or texture. These scars tell a story of how we were hurt and how we were healed. These scars are the body’s way of remembering, at a glance, but not in pain.
While we all go through similar circumstances, I’ve learned that our pain takes shape differently. And since our pain is shaped differently, so is our healing. Over the years, I’ve met, ministered to, prayed for, and mentored women who had fresh scars from past hurt and struggled to find total healing. And when I say real healing, I do not mean the superficial type of healing promoted on social media. The hair changes, the false sense of security, the toxic positivity, or body changes that feel good in a moment but don’t entirely change the aches in someone’s heart. I’ve learned that everyone attempts to cope differently, and usually, I meet a woman who has tried “everything.” When I say total healing, I mean healing from Christ (and often!!!) from therapeutic support services like counseling.
Part of this Woman to Woman series will cover healing in detail, but to have an authentic conversation about healing, we have to address (1) how we’ve been hurt, (2) how we treat our scars, and (3) what God says about our past.
The “why” behind you, is a concept I created to to acknowledge that there is something some things behind all of us lurking in the shadows. The therapeutic community calls it trauma and there are a variety of trauma types that the influence well after the impact of the traumatic event. But, scripture teaches us that God is doing a new thing.
“Behold, I will do a NEW thing, not shall it spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
God will (future tense) do a new thing which should give anyone with past hurt and pain excitement for their future. God’s incredible and glorious work is done in the wilderness or wasteland. The months or years in our lives where nothing is happening, when we can’t see a way out of challenging circumstances, or when our goals are hard to accomplish because nothing we do gains traction. Those seasons when it’s hard to pay bills when a family member is ill, when you’re stumbling and struggling to find your footing. Those are the seasons when God sets your life up for a miraculous turn of events.
Trauma tells us the past outweighs the future. God shows us that the future is where our rivers of redemption lie. Sadly, when you look back long enough, at anything, not only do you strain your neck, you risk getting stuck and missing what’s in front of you. Focus Forward. Sis, it’s time to FOCUS forward. (Enjoy the lock screen!)
The pain behind you needs healing today to live triumphantly in your future. God desires you to be victorious; He desires for you and me to win the battle for our future. Take the lessons your pain has taught you and go to God and also go to therapy. Seek help. Build a village of people who can support you and challenge your growth. Lean into the Word. Obey. Trust that you have not missed anything that God has in store. He can redeem the years…I promise you because He has redeemed several of mine.
Focus forward, don’t get stuck on what’s behind you, and walk through your wilderness instead of building a home at the foot of the mountain. Climb! Rise!
